making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
