That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
