my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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