She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
