What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This is the high leading the old right now
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
