Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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