just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
