There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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