Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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