I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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