honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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