Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize