hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
