I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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