she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
