That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
