Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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