she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize