I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
