Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
