Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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