If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
