So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
What a fucking waste of an outfit
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
