I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
