I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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