I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
