I just cut my nipple shaving
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
