Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
