How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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