High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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