Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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