Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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