My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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