I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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