There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
