It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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