There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
