Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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