I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i dont even know how to be here
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
