he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
