none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
