i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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