You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
