Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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