The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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