please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
