Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Those nachos came to me in a dream
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
