I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
