I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
