...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
