you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Did you just see the Batmobile???
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
