When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
