did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you had me at cake vodka
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
