found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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