I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Green mimosas i think yes
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize