just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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