I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize