Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
